This

Yes, that's Shakira.

Let me explain.

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned here on this blog the most important thing I want to achieve in my life is to have a wife and kids. Everything else is important, absolutely, but this is the most important.

It fucking sucks 2011 brought no hope in that regard.

Well, it helped rule out some people and some more things I don't want in a wife. But if anything, that only makes me further away from my goal.

As I keep mentioning, but nobody seems to be hearing, I'm not someone looking to "search the field" and "try new things" in that area. I'm past that. It's too important to waste my time. I have a very good idea of what I want, and I recognize it when I see it.

Of course, so far, those rare women are taken, or not that much interested in me.

Where does Shakira get in this story?

Shakira is... a stereotype of the kind of woman I'm looking for.

A light at the end of the tunnel I keep chasing, giving me hope these women exist, and maybe, just maybe, if I'm willing to be patient and have a bit of luck, one of them will be interested in me.

Is this just a "celebrity crush" or "an idealization of a perfect woman"?

No. I don't know that much about Shakira, I think a lot of her music has great value and 2 or 3 are completely genius, I've read a couple of bios on IMDB and Wikipedia a few years back, I've read some articles, interviews. I know more about her than any other pop singer, but it's not that much, really. I don't even keep up with her career.

This has been going for so long I've jokingly sighed and mentioned she's the woman of my dreams to friends when one of her songs comes on the radio/TV. They usually don't understand the appeal... "I thought you were more of a boobs guy", "Really? don't you think Beyonce or Scarlett are better looking?".

They don't get it.

It's that look in her eyes, that smile, some of the things she believes in that completely struck me.

That's what I'm looking for (plus, being interested in me as well). Is that too much to ask? On paper it doesn't seem to be, but experience shows me otherwise.

Honestly? I know when I'm looking for something great it won't be easy. It never is. I don't expect my search to be easy, but I do expect to have the hope and strength to stay true to this conviction even if that means I'll never find my very own Shakira. If I have a chance to find that special woman, that's the state of mind I must have.

Meanwhile, I'll keep my eyes open. There's definitely a light at the end of the tunnel.

And her smile kills me.